Forget “Date Night” Try “Hotel Sex”!
March 16th, 2010
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you know how things can get at times. The humdrum of life (kids, chores, finances, work, commutes, house maintenance) can get you down. To keep a long-term relationship healthy, sometimes you have to return to the passion and allure that attracted the two of you in the first place.
Once a couple recognizes the need for some ADULT time (sans kids and day-to-day responsibilities), it can lead to Date Night. Now look, there is nothing wrong with Date Night. Not only does it enable the sharing of time (crucial for any relationship to flourish), but it shows kids that the relationship of Mom and Dad is important, and gets its own attention every week. Besides, with family routines and individual availability being what they are (read: nonexistent), it pays to schedule things. But to that point, Date Night is scheduled, and someone contrived; it lacks the spontaneity of a “real” date—you know… like the dates you used to have before growing all the way up? That’s why I’m an advocate of turning Date Night into something more… sophisticated (albeit passion-centric): Hotel Sex.
Date Night is a great attempt at rekindling things. But after working all week, diapers and/or homework assistance, it might not be feasible to downshift over the course of a couple of hours at dinner. Moreover, as conversation continues, the discussion can turn to daily things—kids, finances… and that doesn’t do a lot for passionate thoughts. Enter Hotel Sex.
No more, “Shhhhh! The kids!” or “Are they asleep yet?” or the inevitable *knock-knock* “Mom?” at the door (like they can’t tell WTF is happening, with the music/TV blaring and the smell of lavender candle rising up from from the bottom of the damn door jam!?!?). Do yourselves a favor: Get a trusted overnight sitter, head out for a night to yourselves (cocktails? dancing?). Get a meal, and then head back to the hotel for dessert. Low on funds due to the economic climate? Nothing wrong with a No-Tell Motel among consenting adults.
Use your imagination, and unplug from parenting for a bit. After all, “parents” were “men” and “women” first.
The Untold Secrets of Successful Relationships
March 8th, 2010
I’ve long suggested that a successful relationship or marriage takes effort, not “work”. Oftentimes, Work is that thing you must do in order to have time and flexibility for the things you really care about. Effort is what you put in to activities you care about… that you are most passionate about making succeed. In short, Effort is a driving force behind a great partnership and marriage. But there are secrets beyond just putting in effort and maintaining open lines of communication.
Separate and joint interests. Couples that invest in each other and build their lives together, stay together. People are also individuals… an they most definitely have to have their own life (read: outside activities that are YOURS), but need to keep time together… even if you have to schedule it (a la the “Date Night”). And they don’t necessarily need to be in-common activities. Case-in-point:
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Keeping the Spark in Long-Term Relationships
March 4th, 2010Read the rest of this entry »
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you know how things can get. The humdrum of life (kids, chores, finances, work, commutes, house maintenance) can get you down. To keep a long-term relationship healthy, sometimes you have to return to the passion and allure that attracted the two of you in the first place. Need a jumpstart? Here’s a few tips: