Is etiquette dead?
I just read an article on MomLogic.com, and I must admit I’m disgusted, and feel bad for wives. For those not wanting to brave clicking the link, the gist of things is pretty evident by the title of the article: My Guy Farts in Public. In response, I offer this short excerpt from my book The Problem with Women… is Men, wherein one of the four identified flaws of men is etiquette (or lack thereof):
Manners and gentlemanly conduct should be synonymous, but many of my brothers have missed this boat. Releasing a 15-second three-octave fart (in mixed company!)—one so foul it makes the dog leave the room—seems to be a standing goal with men of all ages, 9 to 90 (although I do not know how you would put that skill on a résumé). Men have discovered that a human being’s normal bodily functions can cover a multitude of offensive behaviors, and they compete for bragging rights across a wide range of “events”: gas (both ends), picking, chewing, scratching, adjusting, rubbing, and a seemingly endless concentration on volume (measured in both decibels and quantity). I wish I could understand why these activities trigger feelings of bonding for men, not to mention the jargon that accompanies these behaviors: the Dutch Oven (passing gas in bed and then suffocating your mate by pulling the covers over her head), the Dismount (action taken after a very loud belch or rear-end emission, resembling a gymnastics pose struck after finishing a routine), a Soprano (a man who passes gas with a sound that is high-pitched; also known as a Squeaker), ad nauseum. Take note, men: These habits are disgusting, offensive, and are not considered endearing to the women in your lives. Keys are not Q-Tips, nails should be clipped in private, whisker trimmings should be wiped off the sink, privates can be adjusted—as well as gas passed—in the lavatory, and ripped underwear and holey socks should be thrown away and replaced.
Throughout the 17+ years I have known my wife (to include the time when we first began dating), I have yet to practice these repulsive behaviors in front of her or our kids. What happens in our sleep is not our fault; it comes with being a human being. But a conscious effort needs to be put forth to not to engage in these activities when one is around other people (uh, duh?). It’s really just basic civility. Men who systematically shun civilized behavior and imagine obnoxious behavior to be “a guy thing” or “what guys do,” are perverting true masculinity. Moreover, men seem to assume that these offensive activities are automatically acceptable in the company of other men—whether they’re with men they’ve known for some time, or are with those they’ve just met.
Personal Account:
About 10 years ago, I met with a reporter from the Wall Street Journal for lunch at The Slanted Door, a popular restaurant in San Francisco. As a marketing executive, I was there to pitch him on my company’s services, and was looking for editorial coverage and possibly an interview for my then-CEO. After we were seated in a quiet section of the restaurant, we exchanged pleasantries, and quickly reviewed the menu. And then the unimaginable occurred. The reporter smiled, raised his leg, and passed gas (and not quietly). I was shocked. I suppose he felt it was acceptable as we were in an isolated section of the restaurant, and… we are both men. However, I couldn’t get past it. Without a word, I rose from my seat and left. Obviously I wasn’t able to secure the editorial mention we were looking for at that time. However, my sense of etiquette cannot be compromised.
Disgusting is disgusting. Period.
You also might want to check out:
- Is Chivalry Dead? And if not, should it be? “Chivalry is dead!” Women have uttered this statement for decades, lamenting that men do not put enough effort into dating and relationships. Or perhaps men start strong—pulling out chairs, opening doors, paying for dinner—with some keeping it going long after courtship has waned, and others dropping the romantic ball...
- Cougars and MILFs Cougar. MILF. Two words that keep making their rounds in various subcultures. For those in the un-know, let’s define these terms—err… at least, offer the media-infused definitions: Cougar: A woman over 40 who pursues, dates and “plays” with younger men… sometimes significantly younger MILF: A simple acronym… Mom I’d Like...
5 Responses to “Is etiquette dead?”
- ICJP Says:
October 8th, 2008 at 7:20 pmLove your blog! I TOTALLY agree with you–nothing is worse than a man who does these things. Yes, we all do it, but they can be done privately and tastefully.
- A. Padilla Says:
October 9th, 2008 at 6:39 amI completely agree, I have been with my lover for going on two years now and never have either of us purposefully practiced these acts in each others’ presence. Furthermore I have discontinued contact with an acquaintance of his because she forcefully passed gas on my leg and thought it to be funny. It is shocking and disgusting enough for a guy to do such a thing but when a lady thinks it is ok I am not only disgusted but feel a sense of shame for the youth of our society, is this really what our country is coming to.
- A True Gentleman Says:
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:27 amThe True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.
- Donal Seitz Says:
January 21st, 2010 at 6:14 pmInteresting article. Were did you find all the selective information from…
- tom Says:
January 26th, 2010 at 6:58 amI hope you can find meaning in what I’m about to say even if it is a bit off topic. One time I was having alot of trouble figuring out how to date a certain girl. I looked in every place I could think of trying to learn how to meet a girl It took a long time and alot of effort, but after nearly 3 months I finally found a site similar to yours with some real advice. Im not sure I will ever know how you did it, but I thank you for what it is that you have helped me overcome.
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