How to Catch a Cheater (The Economic Version)
Okay… this is simultaneously the funniest and most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me… but it must be shared. First, allow me to set the stage a bit.
My wife, Tina, and I have an incredible marriage and friendship. And she and I have a very playful relationship (read: practical jokes and the like). I get her ALL the time with all kinds of ridiculous stuff… and she is a good sport, mostly because when she gets me, I REALLY pay for it. To wit:
Tina and I have a very trusting relationship. Even with all the contact I have with women (interviews, lunches, business meetings, traveling), she has never doubted that I would remain faithful—and I have never given her a reason to think otherwise throughout the 18 years we have known each other.
As a business professional, I have been on numerous business trips all over the world, staying away for days (sometimes weeks) at a time… and she never doubted my faithfulness. A while back, I asked her about it. “Tina,” I said… “I know I would never cheat on you… and you know it, too. I’m really glad, because I speak with many women who are not so confident about their husbands and boyfriends. How did you get so comfortable with me, and trust me so much?”
I will never forget the response.
“Well,” she started sweetly, “I have a secret. I’ve been ‘watching you’ when you go away on your trips… and I have been for a long time.”
I was stunned. She’d been watching me?! Had I given her some reason to think I was going to cheat, and she was having someone follow me? No… not even close. As it turns out, she was much more creative than that. And so she related the following to me:
Before I would leave on a business trip, Tina would—in the middle of the night—take a Sharpie pen and draw a small smiley face on the lower part of my butt—right underneath my right cheek… and she had been doing this FOR YEARS!!! I never noticed it, and neither did anyone else… which meant that no one had seen it (no one who shouldn’t have seen it, if you know what I mean).
SO… as it turns out, the way to build trust early in a relationship takes nothing more than a creative mind, a bit of cunning, and a big, black marker.
Tina… you will SO pay… 
6 Responses to “How to Catch a Cheater (The Economic Version)”
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Jerri Ann Says:
July 13th, 2009 at 9:15 pmTell me you are kidding, please, otherwise I am going to burst with laughter
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Charles Orlando Says:
July 13th, 2009 at 9:17 pm@JerriAnn… nope! Not a joke… but if I can’t laugh at myself, then what the hell am I doing here? ROFL… that was just too classic to not share.
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BarbJacobucci Says:
July 13th, 2009 at 11:22 pmThis is too funny! Your wife either has the sharpest wit I’ve ever seen, or is the most brilliant person that I have never met! Gotta love it, either way!
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jeanjacques Says:
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:40 pminteresting article and interesting tactic!…what makes you think SHE stayed faithful though?
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Charles Orlando Says:
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:45 pm@JeanJacques LOL… in truth, no one can stop someone from cheating. To get past jealousy and suspicion, one has to just choose: trust, or don’t trust. And perhaps the most important realization: You have no control over someone else’s decisions to remain faithful.
After nearly 19 years, Tina and I have trust… but that doesn’t stop us from practical jokes and craziness.
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Brandy Tanner Says:
December 16th, 2009 at 2:04 amNow that is soooo funny!!!!